We all procrastinate. Sometimes it doesn't matter much. In our businesses, though, it matters a lot. Procrastination is really fear in disguise. We are all afraid of becoming something new and growing larger. It's wired into our brains to be afraid. Find out more about the roots of our avoidance behaviors, and try this recommended cure for procrastination for myself, my clients, and my colleagues.
Fear disguises itself as procrastination
Here are some ways that fear disguises itself as procrastination.
- I don't have time.
- Who wants what I offer?
- I could fail.
- I don't care.
- I don't want to.
- I have to organize, clean, learn some more....
- There's so much to do in the house, on my job, with my spouse, with the kids....
Notice that all of these are thoughts that, if you believe them, become avoidance actions.
Regardless of the disguise, fear will cause us to freeze, fog, or run.
Freeze is when we don't do anything. Fog is when we can't think of what to do, even though we have lists and knew what to do earlier. Run is when is when we watch TV, shop, or engage in other activities to escape activities that lead to our goals.
Anger intensifies fear and avoidance.
The more we avoid our true goals, the more we get angry at ourselves. We don't like feeling this way, so we avoid our feelings. We freeze, fog, or run response in a vicious cycle. We do more of our avoidance activities and feel more angry at ourselves.
What we avoid, intensifies. We will continue not caring, organizing, cleaning, watching TV, doing other work, or whatever is our way of avoidance.
The inner critic is behind it all.
The result of our social messages is that we have an inner critic underneath all the avoidance maneuvers. In our society, we focus on results. We think we don't have time to nurture these "baby" or "insecure" responses. We're told at home, in school and at work to just "buck up". Men are most often taught to ignore the feelings. Women are often taught to give up and pursue something else.
The inner critic is a protective mechanism. It doesn't want us to be hurt, so it directs our thoughts and activities to safer places. The problem is, if we don't change and grow, if we don't try something new and risky, then we can fall behind personally and professionally.
Furthermore, in times of stress and change, when we need to make the most new decisions and take the biggest new actions, that's when the inner critic really digs in. This has been true in my life again and again.
The inner critic needs to be heard.
Unfortunately, most of the time, we are so busy with our avoidance behaviors, that we don't even hear the inner critic. Unheard, it just gets stronger, and so does the avoidance.
As unlikely as it sounds, expressing the inner critic and your fearful thoughts on paper will dispel them and weaken their influence.
I find that when I write in my journal or use art journaling techniques, afterwards I feel so open and free, that I get rejuvenated and back on track. Often, I'll get new ideas, too.
The cure for procrastination is to listen to your inner critic then to your higher wisdom.
If you're feeling stuck or avoiding acting on your business or marketing plans, simply take out your notebook or some paper and start writing.
Write freely. Let all the critical and fearful thoughts out without judgement. Just write and observe. Think of this critic as you would a frightened child. Hold kindness and love in your heart. You may have been holding a lot back for a long time. Just write, listen, and observe.
You might ask yourself questions such as:
- What am I avoiding?
- Why am I avoiding this?
- What do I think will happen if I do this?
- How will I feel?
Then, write to turn things around. Ask your higher wisdom:
- What will really happen if I do this?
- What will happen if I don't?
- What do I prefer and why?
Questions for Comment
- What do you think of this post?
- If you tried this method, what was your experience?
- What do you do to help weaken your fears and avoidance behaviors?
Sometimes, when I think about why I'm procrastinating, I realize that I think I should do something, but I really don't need to do it.. Or I can delegate it to someone else. So I hold certain tasks over my head and let it bother me that I'm not doing them. When I let them go, I feel much better!
On the other hand, as a coach and trainer, I've been frustrated with clients and students who didn't follow through on the instructions I gave. The items in your "Fear disguises itself as procrastination" list are SO familiar, because I've heard them a lot.
Thanks for your insights Ellen. Yes, sometimes when we procrastinate, we don't need to do it.
You've also reminded me that sometimes we also procrastinate because we're missing information or connections that would allow us to move forward. I often found that I needed to wait a bit and allow the situation to unfold. Sometimes it resolves itself and sometimes the needed information or resources become apparent. Sometimes, too, the question itself becomes apparent, and then I can seek what I need to continue.